Help me
by MUNRO CHAMBERS FANGIRL428
Summary: Clare Edwards is a single parent of her two children after he husband is arrested. what happens when one of her children act up in school and Clare has to go to a teacher confrence with the handsome Mr. Goldsworthy
1. Chapter 1

**I'm Back! I'm so sorry guys my laptop was stolen along with many other things so I just got a new one. Unfortunately the other laptop had the next few chapters of My Brothers Best Friend on it so I'm not finished with that story but it may take me sometime to rewrite everything. So I'm writing this story. Hope you enjoy**

I woke up to the sound of screaming. I jumped out of bed and slipped on my robe running down the steps. Lidia and Mason were fighting over the remote.

"Guys really? I thought something serious was wrong."

Both turned to look at me. Lidia just rolled her eyes and Mason ran over to me and grabbed my leg.

"Mommy Lidia stole the remote again"

"Did not"

"Did too"

"Di"

"Enough! Now Lidia give me the remote."

She gave me a groan and rolled her eyes but gave me the remote. "Now both of you upstairs and get ready I'll drop you off before I leave for work."

I thought this year would be better but it seems to be worse. Ever since my ex-husband and their father, Jake was arrested things have just been out of control. Lidia is 13 and Mason is 7. I love both but it's been really hard doing this myself.

"Lidia stop it!" Mason came running over to me, hiding from Lidia who was just smirking.

"Mason you look so handsome" I told him as I handed him his lunchbox.

"And you Lidia look beautiful" I tried to give her a hug but she just went to the door.

"Guess I don't get a hug" I whispered to myself.

After dropping Mason off it was time to make my way to Lidia's school, Degrassi. On the way I tried talking to her but she just kept her earphones in her ears ignoring me. Once we arrived at the school I turned the car off and turned to Lidia.

"Lidia I know you can hear me now take out the earphones so I can talk to you."

She rolled her eyes for the millionth time today and looked at me.

"I know these last few years have been hard and you've changed drastically but please try not to get in trouble. Try to have a good year and enjoy it."

"How can I try and enjoy my year when everyone knows that my father is in jail and make fun of me for it. It's all your fault why did you have to marry him!" she shouted as she got out of the car. If only she knew the real reason why I married him.

Once I was a work I went straight to my office. I work as a counselor for children dealing with disorders, addictions, and family problems. There was a knock on my office door.

"Hey there Clare how was it this morning?" Ali asked me. She was my best friend and also another counselor. We've been best friends since high school and she's been with me through everything.

"Well Mason was really excited to get to school but Lidia was not. I don't know what to do with her Ali. She really has me worried"

"Hey she'll get over it soon. You know it takes some people longer than others to get over things. She knows what he did was wrong and she'll learn everything was for the best. We can talk later but your first appointment is here."

I got up and hugged her. "Thanks Ali I really don't know what I would do without you"

"Uh you would die" she laughed but I agreed. I then went into the waiting room and welcomed my patient into my office.

I was now on my lunch break with Ali. We were just sitting in my office talking when I received a phone call.

I walked into the school and saw Lidia sitting in the chair outside of the principal's office. She had a look of anger and disappointment on her face. Before I could get her attention principal Simpson stopped me.

"Hello Mrs. Edwards"

"Hello Mr. Simpson what did she do know?"

"Well actually her teacher would like to speak to you about it so if you could go to room 504 Mr. Goldsworthy is in there waiting."

I nodded him off and walked in the direction of room 504. Once I was at the door I saw a man maybe the same age or a year older than me sitting in a chair behind the desk. I knocked on the door and he looked up at me.

"You must be Mrs. Martin come in" he got up and pulled up a chair in front of his desk. He motioned me to come in but I was frozen. No one has called me by HIS last name since he was arrested. He looked worried and walked towards me. "Mrs. Martin?"

"It's Edwards, Clare Edwards" his face looked a little confused but he went with it.

"My apologies Mrs. Edwards. Come take a seat." He started walking and I followed behind.

"You can call me Clare. I get called Mrs. Edward all day long and get tired of hearing it." I told him as I took a seat.

"Oh yea? Are you a teacher too?" he asked sitting across from me.

"Oh no I'm pediatric counselor so the kids I help are always calling me Mrs. Edwards."

He smiled and that's when I noticed how beautiful his eyes and his smile were.

"A pediatric counselor. That's such a great job there are so many children out there who just need someone to listen to them and help them. It's people like you who will help this generation"

I couldn't help but blush. His words were so kind but the fact that he doesn't know me and said that made my heartbeat go faster. I almost forgot why I was here until he started speaking again.

"I'm Mr. Goldsworthy but please call me Eli. I'm Lidia's English teacher. Since it was the first day of school I really didn't want to assign anything but I had to so I asked them to write an essay on their favorite family memory."

I gulped nervously and looked down. I already knew where this was going.

"When I asked the class to hand them in Lidia never gave me one so I asked her to come to my desk. She told me she wasn't going to do the assignment because it was stupid, she doesn't want to write about her family and if I had a problem with that I could um well she said I could shove an eraser up my ass."

My jaw was dropped to the floor and my eyes were as big as the moon. Lidia has done some pretty wide things in school but that is by far the worse.

"I'm so sorry Eli. Lidia has changed a lot in the last few years and I'm trying really hard to stop all of this."

He leaned forward and looked concerned.

"Clare I'm upset that she told me to shove an eraser up my ass but I'm more upset at the fact that she said she didn't want to write about her family. I was worried that maybe there were some problems at home and I know as a teacher I shouldn't get involved in my students personal lives but I was just really concerned."

I was crying. I couldn't help it anymore I need to let it out.

"Cl-Clare? What's wrong" I didn't even notice Eli had move next to me and was handing me a tissue. He put his hand on my knee and gave it a squeeze. At any other time I would freak out if someone did this to me but at that point I didn't care.

"I'm sorry Eli I didn't mean to just start crying like that" he looked at me like he really felt bad. How could someone that doesn't even know me feel sympathy for me?

"I'm done work for the day. Do you want to go get a coffee from the dot and talk? You know maybe we can figure out what to do with Lidia?"

Maybe he's right. Maybe he and help me with Lidia and how to help her.

"Yes I would like that. Thank you Eli" I smiled and he smiled back. We walked into the hallway and I saw Lidia sitting in the chair. Eli told me he needed to talk to Simpson real fast so I went and talk to Lidia. I sat in the chair next to her and looked at her. Her makeup was a little smeared and she looked like she had been crying.

"Lidia, I'm not too happy with what you did but I understand why you acted that. You're still in trouble but I'm sorry you had to go through the pain of remembering your father." She kept her face turned from mine. I got up when Eli and Simpson walked out.

"Alright Lidia you can go back to class you and Mr. Goldsworthy will talk during study hall tomorrow." She didn't even thank him for not giving her detention or anything but just walked away.

Eli could tell how embarrassed I was by the way my child was acting. He put his arm around my shoulder guiding me to the door and whispered "I'm going to help you Clare I promise." I looked up at him and smiled. I know I was blushing but I couldn't help it. Eli was being so kind to me and he doesn't even know me. T


	2. Chapter 2

Eli and I were sitting in the Dot waiting for our drinks. I kept my gaze low looking at the table but I could feel his eyes staring at me. when I did look up my eyes locked with his.

"You have pretty eyes" he said while smirking. I could feel my face getting red and my heart beating in my chest. "Tha-thanks" I managed to stutter out and look up again to see him smiling. The waitress brought over our coffees and left. He took a sip of his and looked at me.

"So Clare how long has Lidia always been this way?" oh how I regret this. Well not really but telling him about Jake will be difficult.

"Well no actually. Lidia use to be one of the smartest kindest lovable children there was. When she graduated from kindergarten her teacher gave her a special award for being the most helpful to her class mates." I was looking down smiling at the memory.

"I remember when I told her I was having another baby she was so excited. She helped me paint the room, buy clothes, and even pick out the name. When Mason was born she told him she would be the best big sister ever and that she would always love him."

I stopped to take a sip of my coffee but before I could start again Eli spoke up.

"So what happened? Did she just change because she's a teenager or did something happen to trigger the behavior?"

I took a deep breath and tried to figure out how to word this.

"There was something that happened. Something Lidia still doesn't understand and is upset about. I ended up marring my boyfriend from high school. Lidia was very close to her father she was a daddy's girl. They would watch T.V. together every night, go out on Saturdays to the basketball courts or just go somewhere together. She honestly thought of him as her best friend."

I felt the tears start to fill my eyes. Eli reached out and grabbed my hand giving me a weak smile.

"One night I came home and saw police cars lined up in my drive way. Mason and Lidia came running up to me followed by an officer. In my house we had a basement but Jake told me I wasn't allowed to ever go in there. There was no point in fighting him on it so I just never went in there. He was growing marijuana in the basement to sell."

Eli was now sitting next to me rubbing my back as I continued to tell him about Jake.

"Jake was sent to jail for a long time. Him and I had some issues and I wanted to leave him long before this but I couldn't, so I wasn't as upset about him leaving. But Lidia was heartbroken. She kept asking me to bring him home and to take her to see him but I couldn't. I couldn't let her go see him and she hates me for it. She probably will never forgive me" I cried in my hands until my head came in contact with someone's shoulder. Eli's. He pulled me into a hug and tried to calm me down.

After about 5 minutes I pulled away and looked at him. "I'm so sorry I just get upset when it comes to talking about Justin."

He moved the hair in front of my face and dropped his hand. "You don't need to apologize Clare its ok."

"After about 3 months of begging me to take her to see him, she finally realized I was not going to let her see him. That's when she changed. The kids in school found out about Jake and would make fun of her for it or make nasty comments about her dad. She fought the kids to stick up for her dad. She still doesn't understand everything that he did and what he did to me. I just wish I could make her understand" I looked up at Eli who looked so concerned.

"Clare what do you mean she didn't understand what he did to you? Did he hurt you?"

Shit! I hadn't even realized what I was saying how could I just tell Eli that?

"That doesn't matter, what matters is Lidia and I don't know what to do with her anymore." He looked like he wanted to ask more but didn't push it.

He took both of my hands and I felt the electricity go through my body. From the look on his face he did too.

"I'm going to help you ok? I will talk to Lidia and try to help her understand that this is for the best." He was wiping some of my tears away with his thumb as I just smiled at him.

/

When we got back to the school it was only 1:30. Eli was done teaching for the day but needed to stay after to get ready for tomorrow and I needed to get home so I could be there when Mason gets home. We were standing outside by my car.

"Thank you so much Eli this really means a lot to me."

He looked at me and spoke "Don't worry about it Clare. If I can help Lidia and you I promise I will. I know we just met and all but there's something about you that makes me want to be there for you. Like I just need and really want to help you. No one as beautiful and special as you deserves any of this. We'll get through this."

Did I really just hear him right? This man that doesn't even know me just told me he really want to help me and that I'm beautiful and special. I know for a fact that I was blushing.

"Do you have a cell phone?" he asked while I dug it out and handed it to him.

"There now you have my cell phone number so you can call or text me whenever you need help. Or if you just want to talk to me I mean I know I'm pretty awesome." He said with a smirk.

"Someone has a big ego don't they?" I said leaning against my car. Eli followed my lead and leaned on the car right next to me. His arm was touching my arm but he didn't seem to be bothered by it and neither was I. he turned to look at me I realized how close we were.

"Oh come on you know you can't resist me" we both started laughing as his comment but stopped when we heard a bell go off in school.

"Well I probably should get back inside. Seriously call me if you need anything." He stood up straight as I opened the car door.

"I will thank you so much Eli"

"No problem blue eyes" and then he was gone.

/

I was cleaning up the mess from dinner while the kids were in their rooms. I tried to talk to Lidia when she got home but that didn't go to well. Then at dinner I tried asking how her day was and we got into another argument while poor little Mason just sat there. Sometimes I wonder how he survives with all this fighting. I sent her up to her room to do homework and Mason to do his.

Once all the mess was clean I headed up to Mason's room. He was sitting on the floor playing with his toy cars.

"Hey there mister is that homework done?" I asked taking a seat on the floor next to him.

"Sure is mommy it was easy."

"Well that's good. I'm really sorry about the fighting at dinner baby. I promise things will get better soon." He stopped playing with his cars and looked at me.

"Mommy lying is bad right?" I gave him a confused face and nodded my head.

"Then can you please stop lying to me?" I was shocked at this. I've never lied to him.

"What do you mean Mason? I've never lied to you" he got up and sat in my lap.

"Yes you do. Every time you and Lidia fight you always tell me things will get better but they still haven't. I don't blame you Lidia is just a meanie head but please don't tell me it's going to be better soon when it isn't."

I gave him a big hug practically suffocating him. "Oh Mason I'm so sorry. Please believe me when I say I'm trying my best with her. You know I love you and never meant to lie to you." He hugged me back and kissed my cheek before I left him to play with his cars. Mason is one smart kid and I love him so much.

I knocked on Lidia's door but there was no answer, there never is so I just went in but she wasn't there. I ran downstairs to see if she was there but she wasn't. I tried calling her cell phone but didn't get an answer. I ran upstairs and into her room and that's when I saw it. Her window was open. I started panicking realizing she had run away and did the first thing that came to mind.

Eli's POV.

So I was at the school later then I thought I would be. It wasn't that I had so much work to do but I just kept getting distracted. Clare was all I had on my mind. I just wanted to see her again. I was thinking about her eyes when my phone went off it was a number I didn't recognize.

"Hello?"

"Eli its Clare I need your help" she sounded panicked and that worried me.

"Clare what's wrong?"

"Lidia ran away. I came into her room and she wasn't there and her window is open. I just don't know what to do" I could hear her sobbing on the other line and my heart broke.

"Calm down Clare I'm leaving the school now and on my way. I'll stop at some places to heck on the way." After she gave me her address, I packed all my things quickly and started heading in the hallway. I was about to passed the gymnasia when I heard the sound of a basketball. No one else was supposed to be here now so I had no clue who it was but was relieved when I saw who it was. Lidia.


	3. Chapter 3

I pulled out my cell phone and sent Clare a text telling her I found Lidia and would bring her home soon. Once my phone was away I put everything down and walked into the gym.

"You know your mother is worried sick about you?" she stopped dribbling the ball and looked at me. Once she saw it was me she rolled her eyes and shot the ball into the net. I walked over to stand under the net. I caught the ball and threw it back to her.

"No she doesn't she doesn't care about me" she said as she threw the ball back into the net. "Lidia you now that is not true" I said as I threw the ball back to her.

"You don't know anything about my mother." She shot the ball again and I caught in. " I know that she loves you so much and right now she is a mess because she doesn't know where you are." I tossed her the basketball and she just held it for a moment before she started yelling.

"You don't know what she did to me! You don't know what it's like to never be able to see your own father again!" she threw the ball right at me and started to storm off.

"Actually I do." She stood still and slowly turned around. I could see the tear roll down her cheek. I walked over to the bleachers and sat down. I nodded my head towards her and she sat on the step in front of me.

"Unfortunately I didn't get to see my dad as much as I wanted to, he was always so busy. But every Saturday he took off work and it was our day together. He would take me to basketball games and soccer games. Sometimes we went to see a movie. I loved Saturdays with my dad more than I loved Christmas."

I stopped to take a breath before I continued.

"When I was 7 my father left. My mom told me he had to leave and take care of some things and wouldn't be back for a while." I almost started crying just thinking about it.

"Did you ever see him again?" Lidia asked me. "No I haven't seen him since he left. I asked my mom to tell me where he is and when he was coming back but she wouldn't tell me. I was so mad at her for a while but as I got older she explained to me things I didn't know about him. I now understand that him going away was for the best."

"But my dad leaving wasn't for the best things have gotten worse since he left." Lidia started crying and I didn't know what to do. Hugging her would be crossing the student/teacher line but she was just kept crying. I decided to fuck the rules and I sat next her. I rubbed her back and tried to calm her down.

"Lidia there are still some things about your father that you don't know. I understand that you're mad that your mom has kept you from him but you need to listen to her. One day you will understand why everything has happened." She looked up at me and nodded her head. We got up and headed out the door for my car.

Clare's POV

Where was he? Eli sent me a text like 20 minutes ago saying he found her but he's still not here. I was about to call him again when I saw his pull in the drive way. I ran out the door and ran to Lidia as she stepped out of the car.

"Oh Lidia thank goodness you're ok" I hugged her like there was no tomorrow.

"I'm so sorry mom for everything" she looked me in the eyes and I knew she meant it. I cupped her cheeks and kissed her forehead. "It's alright sweetheart go inside I'll be in in a minute so we can talk." She smiled and walked into the house. Eli came and stood in front of me.

"Eli thank you so much I don't know how to repay you" he smirked and looked me right into the eye. I felt like I couldn't breathe. "Clare you need to explain to her some things she doesn't know about Jake."

My smile faded and he could tell. "What did he do that makes you so scared to tell her? Please Clare I want to know so I can help you get over it so you can tell Lidia." he was rubbing my arm and we standing so close I could feel his breath on my face. I was looking down at my feet until he grabbed my chin and lifted my face so I was looking him right in the eyes again.

"I know right now isn't a good time to talk about it because you have a lot of talking to do with Lidia, but tomorrow are you doing anything?"

I shook my head and he smiled. "How about I pick you up tomorrow around 4 and we can talk?"

"ok tomorrow at 4" I smiled and was about to walk away when he pulled my arm so my body was up against his and our lips were only inches apart. He looked at my lips than my eyes and then my lips again before crushing his lips to mine. It was a sweet simple kiss but it felt like fireworks were going off. He pulled away and smiled.

"See you tomorrow Clare" he winked and got into his car. I couldn't help but smile. Eli is such a nice guy not a bad kisser.

/

Lidia and I were lying in her bed. After our talk she asked me if I would stay in her room until she fell asleep. I told Lidia that I would explain more to her about her father when she's older and she understands. I really hope this means we are going to move forwards.

I was almost asleep when my phone started vibrating. I looked at the caller ID and saw it was Eli. I made sure Lidia was asleep before carefully getting out of her bed and leaving the room.

"Hello?"

"Hey sorry did I wake you?"

"Nope I was still awake"

"I figured. Someone as beautiful as you doesn't need much beauty sleep." I could feel myself blushing at his comment. I just wish he was here now so I could kiss him.

"Anyway I just wanted to know how things went" I could tell he felt embarrassed by what he said.

"Good really really good. Did you talk to her before you brought her home? Because she's acting like a whole new person."

He was chuckling on the other line. "Yea I did talk to her but I'll tell you about it tomorrow on our date"

I was a little caught off guard when he said date. "Oh so this is a date?"

"Well I mean if you want it to be I it doesn't ha have to be bu" I cut him off because he was stuttering I could tell he was nervous.

"Calm down Eli it's ok. I would love to go on a date with you" I could almost hear the excitement threw the phone.

"Great I guess I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Yup see you tomorrow" I was about to hang up when I heard his voice one more time.

"Oh and Clare?"

"Yea?"

"You really are beautiful." I smiled as big as I could.

"Good night Eli"

"Good night blue eyes."

That night I had a hard time going to bed because I was too excited about going on my date. I felt like I was in high school again with a crush. But yet I was still really nervous because I had to tell Eli all about Jake and the hell he put me through. I just hope it all goes well because I falling for him. Fast and hard.


	4. Chapter 4

I was standing in front of full length mirror making sure I looked alright. It was almost 4 and I knew Eli would be here soon. I had on black jeans with knee high boots and a floral top with a blue cardigan. I curled my curls a little more and put a flower clip in my hair.

By time I was downstairs it was 4. As I was grabbing my purse I heard a knock on the door. I turned off the lights and opened the door to walk out.

"Hey Eli" I smiled at him.

"Hey Clare" he leaned in and kissed my cheek "You look beautiful" he whispered before pulling away. My cheeks burned red as we walked to his car.

"So where are we going?" I asked as we started driving. He smirked but kept his eyes on the road.

"I can't tell you it's a surprise." He was still smirking which caused me to wonder where he really was taking me.

"So what were the kids doing?" he changed the subject.

"Well they were spending the evening with my mom. She's taking them out to dinner and probably going to spoil them." I told him with a chuckle.

As I was about to say something else I saw we came to a stop in front of a gate that said no trespassing.

"Uh Eli what are we doing here?" I looked at him in confusion.

"Wait here" he said before getting out and going to the gate. I saw him play with the lock until it opened and he pulled the gate open far enough for his car to fit through. He got back in the car and proceeded to go through the gate.

"Eli that sign says no trespassing" he could hear the worry in my voice as he drove up a dirt road.

"I know I put it up." Why would he put a sign up like that? Before I could ask I saw what we were driving towards. It was an old abandoned church. It actually looked really cool. It was surrounded by big open fields. Eli stopped the car and got out. He opened the door for me and took my hand.

"Eli this place is amazing. Did you find this?" I walked toward the church and stood where it looked like an alter should be. Eli came and stood next to me looking at the broken glass window.

"Yup I found it when I was 17. I was just driving around and I came across the gate. It opened it and drove through and found it. I later looked it up. This use to be a catholic church before it burned down. I come here whenever I need to be alone or just want some peace."

This place was so beautiful in a broken kind of way. As I admired some of the broken statues, Eli walked back to his car and pulled out a basket. I walked over to him curious as to what he was doing. He pulled a blanket out of the basket and I helped him lay it out.

"I figured it's such a beautiful day that we could have a picnic."

I smiled at him as I sat down across from him watching him pull stuff out of the basket. He handed me a chicken caser wrap which is my favorite. I looked up at him and he was smiling.

"I talked to Lidia today during study hall she told me they were your favorite."

I took a bite and closed my eyes, feeling my taste buds tingling with goodness.

"Thank you Eli this is so good." He stood up and walked to his car. He turned on the radio and turned up the volume so we could hear it.

"Is this alright?" he asked making sure I didn't mind the music.

"It's perfect."

We continued to eat and talk. So far this was going perfectly. As I finished my wrap I saw him reach into the basket and pull out the grapes.

"Open your mouth" he said while opening the bag of grapes.

I raised my eyebrows confused. "I'm going to throw a grape in your mouth" he explained. I shrugged my shoulders and opened my mouth. I heard him say ready, set, and go before I moved my head to catch it. I chewed and swallowed, smiling at his amused face.

"My turn" I took the bag and with a devilish grin through the grape at his face not even aiming at his mouth. I started laughing because it bounced off his forehead.

"That was not even close to my mouth" he said in between laughing. I was still laughing that I hadn't even noticed he grabbed a handful of grapes and started throwing them at me. I tried shielding my face until I started picking them and throwing them back. I stood up and ran as he chased me. It's hard to run in these shoes so it wasn't hard for him to catch up to me. He grabbed me around my waist and pulled me close to him. As our laughter started dying down I turned and faced him. Just than one of my favorite songs came on the radio.

"Oh I love this song" I yelled. He smirked and looked down at me. "Well would you like to dance?" he grabbed my hand and walked back towards his car.

He placed one hand on my hip and I put one on his shoulder. He held my other hand and started moving slowly. We moved to the music and he even spun me a few time. At the end of the song he dipped me and brought me up close to his chest. "I want to show you something" he whispered. I nodded and followed him as he picked up the picnic stuff and got in the car. We drove only a few minutes until stopping again at a cemetery.

I saw the sadness on Eli's face and was unsure of what to do. He opened the door for me and took my hand but this time he gripped it and didn't let it go. "I want you to meet someone" I smiled weakly and followed him.

We stopped at a head stone that read _R.I.P Imogen Moreno._ "This was Imogen, my fiancé."

I was immediately taken back.

"3 years ago she died of cancer. We were supposed to get married that summer. The doctors told us that she would be ok in time to get married and live a happy life."

He dropped to his knees and cried. I bent down and hugged him. I felt it start to rain but I didn't care.

"2 month before we were getting married, the doctor told us the cancer came back and this time it was worse. He said he gave her 6 weeks. But she didn't even make that. She died 3 weeks after the doctor told us she had 6. I held her in my arms as she took her last breath."

He cried in my shoulder as it started to downpour. "Eli I'm so sorry." I held him until he was a little calmer.

"Clare I told myself that I would never fall for anyone again because I didn't want to be hurt again. But she came to me in my sleep last night. Imogen did. She told me that I needed to keep living even though she's dead. She said I need you like you need me but I'm just so afraid you'll leave me."

I cupped his face kissed him. He wrapped his arms around my neck and pulled me close. I pulled away and hugged him. "I'm not going anywhere Eli." I whispered in his ear.

/-/-/

Once Eli was calm enough he drove us back to his apartment. He kept apologizing for his breakdown and causing me to get soaked because of the rain.

"Eli it really it ok. I'm glad you told me." He let me wear a pair of his sweat pants and shirts while mine were in his dryer.

He sat next to me and handed me a coffee. I bit my lip and looked at him.

"Are you alright?" he asked getting concerned.

"I put my coffee down and looked at him. "I want to tell you about Jake."

He put his coffee down as well and moved closer to me.

I took a deep breath "Jake and me started dating in 8th grade. It was one of those childish relationships though. Things didn't get serious until the end of sophomore year. Over that summer Jake really changed. He got into drugs and was always partying. He started to get extremely violent with me. I told him if he didn't stop I would leave him even though I really loved him."

Jake raped me when I was 17. I told him no but he hit me and kicked me until I gave up the fight. He told me if I ever told anyone he would make next time much worse." I took a deep breath before continuing.

"I soon found out I was pregnant. I was terrified but he was excited. He wanted a family and to be a daddy. He forced me to marry him and move in with him when I was17."

While I was pregnant Jake treated me like a princess. He acted like a real boyfriend. Like the guy I fell in love with. Even after Lidia was born he treated how I should be. A few years later we had Mason and it all seemed perfect. We all loved each other again."

I took a sip of my coffee and wrapped myself in Elis arms that held me tightly.

"But then Jake started using again. He would come home at midnight drunk or stoned. He started to get violent with me again but only when the kids weren't around. When they were he acted perfectly normal. He didn't want to disappoint Lidia because he truly did love her. But when they weren't home he'd be smoking a bong or shooting up.

"That day he got caught was one of the happiest days of my life. I knew I was free of his torture and this forced love. But my kids don't know the whole story and they're in pain. They want their daddy."

I looked at Eli who had a tear roll down his cheek.

"I'm so sorry Clare. None of that stuff should have happened to you, none of it. I know that your kids are too young to know the truth now but when they do learn it they will understand. I know they will."

I wiped the tear away from his cheek. "I was so afraid to love someone again because I don't want to be hit or raped on a daily basis. I don't want to be lied to again and be used for my body. I don't want to be hurt mentally or physically."

Eli grabbed my head and pressed his forehead to mine. "Clare I promise I would never hurt you. Ever. Just like Imogen told me, you need me like I need you. We need each other. I promise I'll take care of you."

And I know he will.

**Alright so that was a crappy chapter but I promise updates will be a lot sooner so please review. Happy Holidays!**


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